The Start

I’m starting something a little new. A year ago, almost, I promised myself that I would work out every day for an hour. Four months in, my life started changing so fast my head felt like it was swirling with emotions. And no, it wasn’t in a good way. I had the challenge in the back of my mind, but it was no longer a priority. Luckily I am active pretty much every day because of that nagging feeling in the back of my brain, but my whole body feels out of whack.

In college I lost over 50 pounds. A of today, I have gained about 25 of those back. Some of it is muscle, which is great. But most of it is weight of not paying attention to what I am eating and not taking care of my ever-changing body. I am all for loving the body you’re in, but I feel sluggish and some of the activities I had no problem with are difficult for me now. My knees and back hurt when I run, and I constantly feel hindered by my exercise induced asthma. So while I have been staying active, it has become an everyday struggle. Eating right + exercise = overall health. And I know that if I keep pushing myself, things will get better.

But what about when you feel like you’ve hit a wall? You’re trying really hard every day to eat right and workout, but it seems like the numbers on the scale either aren’t changing or they are going up. So then you start making excuses for yourself, “Well, I didn’t weigh myself at the same time as the last time” … “It’s my time of the month, so I’ll be carrying some extra water weight” …”Maybe I just gained some more muscle, it weighs more than fat you know”. And while I totally believe that your weight fluctuates on the daily, and the number on the scale does not define me – I have a bigger problem that needs to be faced.

In October, my grandpa died suddenly due to an aggressive cancer most likely caused or increased by his type 2 diabetes. My mom has this disease, my grandma does and my great-grandpa did too. On top of all that, my uncle was just diagnosed with Prostate cancer. Luckily, it looks like he will be okay. But here’s the bottom line: I am at risk. I don’t have good genes and I can’t take any more chances with my health. I want to be active, healthy, and live a long life without a lot of complications.

So it’s time for some mindful dieting to kick-start a new path for me. I have done the whole “diet” thing before, and it isn’t sustainable long term. But what I do need to do is to mindfully practice some discipline. I need to find out what works for me on a maintainable basis and regulate what I eat until I find a new normal. My goal is to lose 20 pounds and to run 3 miles without feeling winded or like my knees are going to snap. I’m going to be taking it two weeks at a time while also allowing “cheat meals” on the weekends during lunch and dinner. At the end of each two weeks, I’ll check in and see if I should make any adjustments. I’ll keep going until Labor Day and we will see what the final results are. I’ll be doing a photo body-love project the whole way, reflecting on my progress and keeping myself accountable. I won’t be telling you my numbers along the way, but you can check in on my reflections and weekly plans to see how I am feeling about the process. I’ll let you know if I am successful, but I have a feeling it’s going to be great either way.

And it starts today.